**Every now and then Mr. The Milk (my husband) writes up a little blog post for my website. This one made me laugh (and I’m not biased in any way of course) and it will definitely offend some people…but honestly we are both so sick of the breastfeeding in public “HOOHA” that is going on, I think he just had a moment of frustration that prompted him to emerge from his nap stating, “I have to get to the computer! I have a blog post I need to write”!! So here it is. 🙂

“Doesn’t everyone know that boobs are there as an accessory for serving beer and chicken wings?!!”

The ludicrous arguments against breastfeeding in public gives me the……

Hello again people in cyber boobing world. I was trying to have a nap and as I started to drift into blissful quietness and relaxation, a few thoughts came to me about the whole breastfeeding in public debate – One guess who I’m married to!

Why there is a debate or that it’s controversial is simply irritating in the first place and you are all most likely sick of it. Hopefully you are not too sick of the pro-breastfeeding in public comments and stop reading now. Anyway, it bugs me that there is no controversy or national outcry over the following things (I’m sure there are more, but hey I only had 15 minutes), which I will go into more detail here. You could use these as counter arguments the next time you have to waste your breath arguing with the “know-it-all, opinionated” types telling women to be discreet when breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding in public1) People eating fast food… Can you imagine a world if a person who was struggling with their weight or appeared unhealthy was asked to eat a burger in the toilet – as they were distressing other customers? Or that they were offered a salad instead of the burger they ordered? “Excuse me sir, I think it would be best if you went to the restaurant down the road. I hear they serve a great Caesar and you are currently upsetting the customers.” People are allowed to make choices about what food they put into their bodies and nobody kicks up a stink about the guy who’s eating a burger and fries? Yet a bit of skin exposed that is feeding someone is a shocker!! Why don’t restaurants start putting stickers on their doors and windows that say “Unhealthy person friendly restaurant”?! I know why – It’s discriminatory.

Peer Review.2) The dude at the urinal… Some of you are probably wondering how the dude at the urinal has anything to do with breastfeeding in public (and no, I am not comparing breastfeeding to peeing).

You may have to ask a few male friends about this one. It’s become an epidemic in Australia. The connection here is that there are things that are appropriate and things that are not. No matter what pub you go to, there always seems to be the dude in the urinal that wants to have a chat. Now, after a few schooners (size of a beer glass – which is of course different in every state in Australia with different names) the urinal is a place of necessity and time to gather ones thoughts. It is not a time to discuss politics, the weather or that you are breaking up with your missus. There is a time and place for that.

When I’m in the urinal, it’s all business – a time for reflection and concentrating on getting the right angle to avoid splash-back (it’s a horrible condition that affects 1 in 5 pub goers)*. Why isn’t there a national campaign to stamp out this behaviour? Does no one want to admit that it’s a problem and that these dudes need help? Maybe there could be separate bathrooms for them? Maybe there needs to be a security person in there that can redirect them to the “talking toilets”? No, they won’t do that because it’s ridiculous.

You know what is ridiculous? Asking my wife to feed our son in the bathroom (yeah I’m talking to you bagel man). It’s ridiculous to ask someone to show discretion when breastfeeding. How about the dude in the urinal shows some discretion and zips it (pardon the pun). Sorry , it gets to me.

*statistics may be wildly inaccurate or fabricated

3) Old guys with a beer belly wearing budgie smugglers at the beach… Budgie smugglers, DT’s, speedos, the European loin cloth is a classic sight on Aussie beaches. Once meant for bronzed, muscular men on the beach, it seems that all shapes and sizes wear them and it’s ok. Well, it’s not! The sight of a 50 year old man with a beer belly and pair of nylon jocks on is not appropriate. Talk about overexposure! Where is the discretion, the respect for other beach goers? Nobody asks them to cover up or go to a different stop to suntan. But again, people get in a tizz about a child being cared for in the most natural way possible and not the retina scarring images portrayed to thousands of beach goers every weekend across Australia.

I can see the front cover of the local paper now “Man given towel to cover up”. Maybe a national “free the budgie” campaign could work in conjunction with the” dude in the urinal” campaign.I want my children to see breastfeeding in public and know that it is accepted and that people encourage it. I don’t want them seeing Grandpa Jo with less fabric on than Miley Cyrus (I’ll call the cops if he starts twerking).

So, I’m sick of this argument/discussion/debate blah blah blah. People have a right to their opinions, but I just don’t get why they get so upset over this issue. Would people want Hooters to shut down if their employees’ breastfed on the job? “Oh my God! These women are using their boobs to feed children! This is outrageous! Doesn’t everyone know that boobs are to help with serving beer and chicken wings?!!” No, this would never happen but it would sure make for a good discussion with the next person who wants breastfeeding women to be discreet or “cover up”. They might just see how ludicrous it all is.

-Mr. The Milk