Although many social media and mainstream media out there would like us to “end the mummy wars”, what they are really doing is trying to silence our most inner passions and experiences. Silence what we know to be true and important to us as mothers (how we feed our babies, handle sleep issues, discipline, make medical decisions etc.) so we don’t “hurt someone’s feelings”. *GASP*! The horror! Oh how we all must shutter at the thought of being JUDGEMENTAL!
It appears we have reached the point in our existence as humans where we must silently and quietly go to the sanctuary of our own homes and utter our “judgments” and opinions only to ourselves while making sure our windows are closed and our blinds are pulled. We must immediately apologize and explain ourselves in case we hurt someone’s feelings. We must NEVER appear opinionated or passionate…because of course if we say ANYTHING that is not close to what that particular mother is experience or feeling then we are being judgmental bitches. Oh yes, and did you know we are also being hurtful and uneducated and then we must read all of the research that they have found, to show how what we are saying is wrong. And hurtful. And uneducated…and judgmental.
5 reasons you can stick the “I’m judging you” mummy wars up your…
1. Something written on Facebook, Twitter, a blog or newspaper is not a personal letter to you…This blog you are currently reading was inspired by my experience on The Milk Meg Facebook page today in regards to my blog post “Please, please mama…pick up your crying baby.” I have had a huge, overwhelmingly positive response from people. But of course every single time I re-share the link on Facebook I get at least one or two people commenting that I’m “judging” mothers because I’m asking them to “Please pick up your crying baby”. I am told that I, “don’t know what it’s like for every mother” and that they might be experiencing post-partum depression. But you see, if your baby is crying and you have post natal depression and you have not had even two minutes to pee that day and your baby will not breastfeed, will not stop crying even when held and you are at your wit’s end then I’m obviously NOT. TALKING. ABOUT. YOU.
Here in lies one of the biggest issues with blogging, social media and sharing of opinions and/or research…IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE! Maybe you had to leave your baby crying for a few minutes to gather yourself, pee and think of your next strategy or plan for settling your baby. Maybe you need to put your crying baby down to make a phone call to see if you sister or friend could come over to help for an hour so you can shower. Maybe you are a single parent, alone, overwhelmed and scared. Me suggesting that women, “pick up their crying babies” does not mean that there will never be a situation where a mother needs some time. Me sharing my own experience of seeing those crying babies being left in their prams was not a judgment. Yes, those mothers may have been at their wit’s end!! And I get it! Please just don’t pull the “judgment” card out on me because I’m encouraging them to ask for help and support so SOMEONE can pick up their baby if they can’t. Oh I’m such an evil woman.