The thought that all of us have when we give birth to our little ones yet we rarely admit. We see the mother at the park with her perfect hair and fit legs and wonder, “How does she have it all together?” Well I’m here to tell you she doesn’t. I’m also here to tell you that instead of moving away from that uncomfortable feeling that we have no fucking idea what we’re doing, lean into it.  Put on your big girl panties and get on with it.  Learn to love it. Learn to be able to laugh about it.

Because the truth of the matter is that this strange feeling of knowing you’re in charge of keeping your baby alive and well, turns into a morning you wake up and realise they are all of a sudden 16 and you STILL have no fucking idea what you’re doing. So sorry, it doesn’t change. You just learn to embrace it and find the humour in it. We also learn how to get really good at ignoring the idiots and listening to our instincts as a mother.

It always breaks my heart when a woman says during a consultation, “Well, it’s just my first baby though so I don’t know.” The thing is, you know more than you’re giving yourself credit for. You know when your baby is unwell or not. You know what makes your baby happy. You know when your baby needs a cuddle or a breastfeed. You know when the advice you’ve been given is horrible because your baby doesn’t respond well to it. You know more than you think. And it doesn’t matter that there will still be some stuff you don’t know because you’ll figure it out… as long as you trust your instincts and follow the lead of your baby. Being confident to trust your parenting instincts will help you as they grow too. It just take some practice.

A good friend of mine from high school was telling me about our 20 year high school reunion we had recently. Living in Australia now, I unfortunately missed it. She and I had our first born babies very close together and they are now 16 years old. None of our friends had babies at 22 like we did so of course my friend was seen as the expert at the reunion as the only one with a 16 year old teenage boy so was being asked advice and parenting tips. We were laughing about it after as she told me because we have no idea what the hell we’re doing! We both went on to have 3 boys each and thankfully now can just laugh about this world of parenting and remember those crazy early years of chaos and now the challenge of keeping our boys on the right path to adulthood. The worries of a mother are never ending and at times all consuming.

My friend Meghan and I with our first born boys! Breastfeeding babies to 16 year old boys in the blink of an eye.

Just remember none of us are born knowing. None of us feel 100% confident 100% of the time that we’re doing an amazing job at this parenting gig. None of us get through parenthood without feelings of guilt and wondering if our kid is going to end up in a psychologist’s chair complaining about their deranged mother. We do what we can do, with the resources we have at the time. When we learn more, we do more. When we get more confident in trusting our instincts we make better choices. Parenting is a never ending, always evolving process. And none of us have any fucking idea what we’re doing. So enjoy it. Soon your little baby will be 16 and you’ll look back and smile about those early weeks and months of new motherhood. ❤️

 

-Meg

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